Roses are special

I mentioned in the last post about my three miscarriages. I just wanted to share something really sweet that my dh did for me.

About 2 years after my 3rd miscarriage I happened upon an article in Today's Christian Women. It was entitled Secondary Infertility. I was surprised at how many people had one child yet had so many problems conceiving afterward. You really feel guilty to share it especially since you have a child because you don't want to appear ungrateful to others so you just tend not to mention your longing for another child and the problems you are having. The author went on to say that she had 4 children and recently lost a baby and how devistating it was to her and her family so they bought a baby rose bush and planted it in memory of the baby. She said that the bush grew beautifully but the roses would bloom on the other side of her fence. I thought what a wonderful picture of my children blooming in heaven. She added that when she had a friend lose a baby she would carry them dinner and a rose bush. I thought it was a very sweet article and told my husband about it. I believe this was one day in January.

Fastforward to Mother's Day and my husband and sweet son came home with a minature rose bush. I cried so much. It really was one of the best Mother's Day gifts ever for me. Mainly because my husband had listened to me and must have actually heard me:) And of course because it represented our babies. We planted the rose bush and I must say I did not have much of a green thumb at the time so I prayed very hard that no matter what I did the the Lord would allow that rose bush to survive. Each year it would bloom and I would cut 3 roses off and put them in a vase just as a sweet reminder of my children in heaven. The Lord surprised us ( I say surprised because we had pretty much given up) 9 years after my first was born with another boy and when my 2nd was 9 months old another surprise gift was in the works a third boy. After our second was born in May of 2002 I noticed the rose bush looked a little yucky but it still produced so I did not worry about it. When our third child was born in September 2003 the bush looked like it was on it's last leg. Very soon after we lost the bush. We have three babies in heaven and now three on earth I really thought it was special that while my heart yearned for others the Lord allowed the bush to survive yet once my heart was full the bush died.

Again I must give the disclaimer that this is what the Lord did for me. Not because I am more spritiually mature than anyone else this was just part of His plan for my life. Each life is special and different and the plan that the Father has for them is good and perfect. Again before I hit the publish button I will pray for those struggle with infertility or the loss of a child. I pray that the Lord will put a song in your heart and that you will be able to have joy in the midst of a difficult time.

On a lighter note :) I will be having a give away to celebrate my 50th post coming up soon. So check back.

Blessings

Engraved in His Palms???

I thought I would let you know how I came up with the title of my blog just in case any one was interested :)

I was involved in a bible study years ago and one of the verses that stuck out at me was this one. Isaiah 49:16, See I have engraved you on the palms of my hands... The teacher read this to us and told us that once we accept Jesus as our Savior our name is written in the Palms of Christ's hand right next to the nail scars and nothing could erase that. I liked the verse and even memorized it. I was in our church bookstore one day a few years later and I found a framed scripture that had this verse on it. I bought it and have it displayed in our home. As great as I thought this verse was it was not necessarily one that I pondered on all the time I just really liked the imagery of the it. I was grocery shopping one evening in December (1996) when the Salvation Army guy was outside ringing the bell and asking for donations as I left some money in the bucket he handed me a card I thanked him and put it in my sweater pocket.

Fastforward toFebruary(1997) I had just found out I was pregnant and then began to bleed. I was so upset. I went for a walk and just prayed and cried out to God I had already lost one baby , I did have a 3 year old, but had longed for another one and I just could not understand whyI was suffering through this type of loss again. As I was praying I noticed it got colder and I stuck my hands in my pocket. I felt something and pulled it out to see what it was It was the card that the Salvation Army guy gave me that night at the grocery store back in December. It had perferated edges so I tore them to see what it was and a peace came over me as I read the following verse , See I have engraved you in the palms of my hands. I began to cry as I was remined that He really did love me and cared enough to show up that cold February evening to comfort me. Since then I have claimed this verse and love to share it with others. It amazes me how I can read a verse one day and almost not even notice it and then read it again during a different set of circumstances and wow it just jumps off the page. I guess this is why you don't just read the Bible through one time and say "I'm done", it really speaks to us where we are.



I will never fully understand why God allows somethings to happen in our lives but I know He loves us and everything I have gone through has shaped me into the person I am today. I have so many stories relating to my losses. ( we lost another one for a total of 3) In fact there is one in particular I may share in the future as it is extremely sweet. After I publish this post I am going to pray for all of you who have lost a baby,and those who are struggling with infertility. Seek Him. He may not answer the way you desire but he does have a good and perfect will for all of us.

Blessings