I am SOOOO Hot!!!

And no I do not mean my looks:) My air conditioner was making a weird noise this week so I had someone come check it out. He said the compressor was on it's last leg and there was nothing he could do for it. It was still cooling so he said keep using it as long as it is cooling and when it stops give me a call and we will replace it to the sweet tune of $1850.00. Now I was still cool and fortunately my neighbor on the side of the air conditioning unit was not home so she couldn't be tortured by the awful schreeching noise it was making. The man left and I prayed that somehow we could wait til the fall to replace it. Well, I got my answer to my prayer today and it was a no. The warm air made it's way into our home at a speed faster than a race car and now at 10:30pm I am typing and sweating at the same time, I guess you could say I am multi-tasking:) It was about 97 today so that did not help things.

In thinking it over I feel like it is more of a test of faith for me today. We had a really great church sermon and morning so it was only appropriate to come home to some hot air to see what I was made of. Can I go with the flow and be thankful for the blessings I still have or am I only going to focus on being uncomfortable for a short while? So far my reaction has been pretty positive I hope I can keep it up. Isn't it typical though how easy it is to act in a Christ-like manner when I am surrounded by all things "comfortable" but the minute the comfort is disturbed it becomes so hard, how selfish of me. My nephew is living in 110 degree heat everyday in Iraq not to mention the 20lbs of extra clothes and gear he has to wear, people all over my town that are homeless have to find places to keep cool and I am inconvienced for probably a day or so and my lower lip comes out. Poor me! Father thank you that I have an air conditioner and that even thought it may be difficult to pay for you have given us the means to pay for it. Oh and I guess I should also thank you that I have a two story house and only the downstairs unit is broken so I could go upstairs to cool off if I want to.:) I was going to leave that one itty bitty piece of information out because the story of my sacrifice was so much better without it but it somehow it just seemed WRONG. haha

Be thankful for all things........

Blessings,
Linda

Hurting anyone????

I have so many friends who are hurting right now and I am so sad for them. Some because of their own choices, some because of other people's poor choices and some just because they can't keep their eyes on the one and only Jesus. I believe I fall into that last category right now. I have been so incredibly busy, tired and not feeling all that great that I have allowed my eyes to focus horizantal rather than verticle. My eyes have fallen on my circumstances. (which I might add, to most may not seem very bad at all) Whatever the hurt comes from whether we asked for it or not it still hurts!! I am so convinced that there are so many of us out there who pretend that everything is just fine and we have it all under control when in all reality the only thing we have control over is our reaction. Our reaction to our circumstance is our choice and ours alone. Do I react in a manner worthy of a good witness or do I fail miserably? Lately I would have to say it is the latter. I am going to hop off this post right now and go stick my heart, soul, and mind into His one and only word. The Truth. Oh it won't change my circumstances but I know it can and will change my reactions if I am willing and I believe I am ready to be willing.

Cry when you need to cry, vent when you need to vent, but I pray we can be real with one another and pray for one another without judging cause I don't know about ya'll but I am one sister who does NOT have it all together. :)

Blessings,

Pondering

As my son, Chandler, tried to get in the car I locked the door, then unlocked it, thenlocked it again. This went on about 5 times before his teen-age self scrunched up his face and rather loudly demanded that I unlock the door and let him in. I was in a playful mood so as I let him in I just smiled which melted something in him and we both began to laugh out loud. What fun for me as those times of connection are few and far between right now during these teen years. As I backed out of the drive way I looked at him and was amazed at how big he is. I asked him when he had gotten so big to which he replied with an unamused "I dunno." I asked him if he remembered when he was little I would ask him "How big is Channie and then we'd both reply as I raised his hands in the air..."So Big" he did not have the foggiest idea what I was talking about and asked if he could please quit talking and listen to his i-pod. This little chat made me think of Mary and how the bible says she treasured up all of these things and pondered them in her heart right after the birth of Jesus. I began to tear up as I wondered if I have truly treasured the time I have had with my children or if I have been so caught up in the business of life I will have nothing to ponder in my heart in later years. As I looked at my teen-age son I soon realized that I do have a lot to ponder in my heart. God has been good enough to allow me to remember little moments that he and I shared together and still do even if it is only in a brief moment of silliness and a car door lock.

Blessings,

Decisions, Decisions

My husband and I decided long ago that I would be homeschooling my younger two children at least for a couple of years. We have been extremely excited about doing this. This year there was a need for a 4-K teacher at my kids preschool I was approached about interviewing for this position and even though my degree was in elementary education 1-8 I thought why not??? I had one child in the 3yr old class and one in the Kindergarten class and I would be in a room right in the middle of them where I could go hug them if I had an extra minute and it was only 3 hours a day. I found out at the end of August that they wanted to hire me and so off I went into the land of uncharterd territory. I just knew this would be a great stepping stone for me to transition into homeschool next year.
Fast forward to today and I had to tell my boss I would not be back in the Fall. There was one thing getting in the way of my telling her and that was that I have sooooo loved this job. Before I took this job I was guilty of using my children's preschool time as a time for me to have a break and if they learned something in the process then great! A lot of times I did not even check their bags for work they did. Little did I know just how much work these preschool teachers put into their jobs. I have lesson plans that cooridinate with letters of the week. We do math, write names and letters. I teach bible verses. We sing a lot, so much that my voice has not been the same since school started. I have put a ton of work into this job and have loved every minute with the children and getting to know their parents. It really is not an easy job but if you love it you are hooked!
I went over every possible scenario that would allow me to stay in this job but it would always be at the expense of my family. I knew another reason I wanted to stay was for a selfish reason and that is I was getting accolades from my peers, my boss and parents about my abilities in teaching. Not a lot of accolades are coming from the kiddos when it is just you and them at home so I really found this embarrassingly rewarding.
These are the types of decisions I find the hardest. Picking between better and best. If I hated the job it would be so much easier to leave. I do realize that the Lord has given me a gift in teaching but I also know that no matter how gifted I am if I am out of His will for my life then I will get less than mediocre results in whatever I attempt no matter how "good" it may be. I must also add that I know how fast little ones grow and I have plenty of time to teach at a school later when my kids are older if the Lord leads. Until then I want to really take in these last few younger years with them and just memorize them and engrave them on my heart.
Sorry for the long post just pondering my day and the blessings the Lord has given to me and allowed me to experience.
Blessings,

drip, drip, drip, drip, drip

It is rainy and very cold. It began raining last night and every once in a while I would wake up in the middle of the night to a drip that was right outside my bedroom window, of course it had to be the one closest to my side of the bed too. It would take me a while to fall back asleep and then I would stir and once again hear, drip, drip, drip. It was the most annoying noise, an almost drive you insane kind of sound. It was constant, it was predictable in the timing of the drip, it was loud some times and soft other times but it was there and I was growing increasingly frustrated with it. As I was reading my bible a few minutes ago in my room where the drip is still present, I came across the following verse in Proverbs, 27:15-16



A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.



Can I get an OUCH!!! Wow I really never liked this verse before in fact if the truth be told I just skimmed over it VERY quickly when ever I saw it but today was different. As I sat on my bed experiencing the constant, insistant, drip I became very overwhelmed with conviction from the Lord about my attituted toward my husband. If I annoy him like this drip has annoyed me for a few short hours then he should be in a home somewhere very far from me and my at times "dripping" attitude!!(especially after 20 years of marriage!) Dont' ya just love a timely word from our Lord???



Lord, Thank you for my husband. Help me be an encourager and respecter of my husband and not drown him with a constant annoying dripping attitude.



Blessings,
Linda

Edit::: My sweet husband emailed this to me from work after he read this post:

You are not a leaky faucet----just the best wife/friend in the world.........

David

Thanks sweetie!!! You know you made me cry!

Snoring, Swollen face, and a Profound statement!!

Interesting week here. I have not been able to sleep because my dh has informed me that I snore and that I need to buy some nose strips of some sort to curtail this new annoying problem. I don't think it is new though, I just think he has been coming to bed later than me thanks to college basketball (especially the Memphis Tigers) which means I am falling asleep first and usually it is the other way around. Needless to say each time he lovingly pushes me to get me to stop snoring I am awake and it takes another hour for me to solve the world's problems before I can fall asleep. ( hehe) Then my sweet Lab's lips(if they have them?) were swollen, I noticed it at night and thought she would be fine but much to my dismay I woke up after a nudging from dh to find my dog's eyes were even swollen shut in fact her whole face looked like a balloon. YIKES! The emergency vet said I could give her benedryl I was so thankful for the information over the phone however, I did not have benedryl so off to the local neighborhood wal-mart to obtain the face normalizer for the dog, did I mention it was 3:30a.m.? Did it work you ask? No! She began doing weird stuff like getting in the bath tub (with no water) hiding under the bed and whinning. So off the the vet we were early this morning to find that she had a severe allergic reaction to something, was given some steroids, and now we are home. She is doing better for those who might actually care.(hehe) My middle one, Carson asked what she was allergic to. Funny question that will never be answered because this dog will eat anything from a plastic dinosaur head to power ranger arms and legs to a bar of soap and of course her normal dog food and anything she can find in the trash if she can get to it. So for now I will watch her every move as if I really needed anything else to add to my already busy schedule.

On a really sweet and very profound note, my 4yr old, Cameron told me on the way to school today that "the bad guys had to put Jesus on the cross" I asked him why he thought that and he very matter of factly replied "if they didn't then he couldn't come live in our heart". As I pondered the day I had to smile....with all the crazy, bizzare things that can occur in a day there really is only one thing that matters... Does Jesus live in your heart?

Have a great weekend.

Blessings,

Linda

A funny an award and a thought

My darling Cameron (4yrs old) was watching an episode of batman. My sweet husband had just come in from work and was making the rounds with each of the children and myself so he was trying to talk to Cameron and find out about his day. After a few minutes of trying to communicate with him he sweetly looked up at his dad and said "hey dad, let's play the quiet game" we both just cracked up.

I was plesantly surprised to find that Denise had given me

"The Daily Dose" award.

Xandra from Heart of Service created this award to honor those Blogs that are "must reads".
In her own words:
"So here's to all the blogs that you've discovered that you can't possibly live without. They make you laugh, cry, think and feel connected every time you read a post. They give you a thrill as you see them loading into your browser and you get an equally satisfying thrill when you see that they have commented on your blog."

I am truly humbled. When I write I never really think that what I say will impact or mean anything to anyone I just write about my family or what I am thinking or what God has taught me. Quite boring I would think but I love writing and love, love, love reading what everyone else has to say on their blogs. Thank you so much, Denise for thinking of me. I would like to pass this award on to my friend Christina, a homeschooling mom who loves the Lord and inspires me to "dig deeper", to my sister Sandy, the creative one in the family who also loves the Lord and who I want to be like when I grow up(even though I am older than her) and to Kelly, a new blog I have found written by a young woman who decorates beautifully, loves the Lord, and is on a journey to begin a family. There are so many more that I could list that I am inspired by on a daily basis as well that is the hard part about receiving an award... choosing whom to pass it on to.

I was driving and listening to our local Christian talk radio station the other day. I do not remember the exact show I was listening to. It may have been John MacArthur but again I am not sure, however, I heard something that I stopped and wrote down as soon as I was at a red light.

He said to guard your life against spiritual erosion. Erosion is slow, subtle, and silent. Wow! What a statement. When I am not guarded before I know it I have allowed things in my life that a year ago would never have even been a thought. Of course this is how Satan works. If robbing a bank is not your forte then he certainly won't hit you there. It could be something as simple as what we watch on T.V. I have to step back and ask myself are there shows that I watch today and find humorous that a year or two ago I would have been appalled at the mere existance of such trash? If so, than I have been deceived. Very slowly, but deceived none the less.

There is a verse in Genesis where the Lord is talking to Cain.

If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it. Genesis 4:7 .

I am constantly reminding myself of this verse... it(sin) desires to have me.. I am not going to give Satan too much credit here oh yes he is full of evil and the Father of all lies but I am to be guarded at all times and when I am not is when I am weak and fall into my own sinful pit of selfishness, self pity and discontentment. Not sure if I have made a bit of sense here but I do know I loved the erosion picture and am glad I heard it and wanted to share it.

I pray you all have a wonderful weekend in the Lord.

Blessings,

Linda

A little reflection

Expectations..... When you are a young girl you expect to grow up and get married and have no problems because after all you married the perfect prince charming right?.... When you get married you expect to have kids....(Not lose 3 babies before you were able to hold them.) oh... and of course they will be kids that will do everything you say with a "yes mother dear" at the end of every request. Years down the road you just expect to be the same weight you were when you got married because that is how it is on T.V.(hehe) You expect to have friends and always get along... Even as a grown woman you expect to be liked because after all you are a nice person right??Reality check...Does our reality ever match up with our expectations???? I don't know about yours but mine don't. Oh don't get me wrong sometimes they seem to but in all reality I just set myself up time after time to be let down because I allow the enemy to decieve me into thinking that my expectations should be anywhere but on the Father above. He really is very crafty and deceitful isn't he? I don't know about you but this year I am impressed to let everyone off the "hook" of my expectations. They cannot meet them just as I cannot meet theirs. The father is the only one who can fulfill my every need. This also brings to mind the question, "What motivates me?" Why do I do the things that I do or don't do? Is it to impress someone? undermine someone? Do I have quiet time to check it off my list? Do I talk to my children and husband in the same manner at home and in public? Do I go to church because the bible tells us not to forsake the fellowship with other christians or do I go because I have to check it off the list as well? Do I believe that the bible is the inspired word of God and that He loves me all the time or only when I am "good" and things are going my way? These (and more) are all questions that I have been asking myself today. I want to be REAL not just when it is convienent or easy I want to be REAL all the time.
Holy Father, I am asking you to teach me to be REAL. Not hypocritical, judegmental, or have a holier than thou attitude. I want people to see me and know that I live for you please teach me how. I love people so much and want to be liked so much please change my attitude to care more about what you think about me than anyone else and to do all things unto you not men.

Thanks for allowing me to think out loud.
Blessings,
Linda

Sometimes it is just good to be QUIET!!!!!

I love this first song on my blog... Word of God Speak by Mercy Me. If you have a minute just close your eyes and listen to the words. So many times I find myself talking waaaaaay tooooo much. When I really just need to stop and listen and take in all that the Lord has done for me. I have to laugh because there is a verse in Proverbs that I believe the Lord has in the Bible just for me.. I will have to find the reference but the verse is... Even a fool looks wise when he's quiet.
Have a great day!!
Blesssings,
Linda

OUCH!!

I just read this in Max Lucado's book, It's Not About Me. It jumped right off the page.......

Is there any chance, any possibility, that you have been selected to struggle for God's Glory?

I know when I face struggles the first thing I usually do is try to figure out what I have done wrong why this would be happening to me. Sometimes I can be legalistic and think maybe I did not pray enough, go to church enough, or tithe enough when in all actuality there is nothing I can do to make him love me more. There are times when I know right away that I may be suffering because of a poor choice I made and the struggle is the consequence to sin but there are a lot of other times that I just can't understand what God is doing in my life. I know that once I have been through a struggle I peek over my shoulder at what lies behind and I always see His fingerprints. Dear friend if you are struggling right now just hold on tight to the creator of the Universe, the one who chose to breathe life into you, who has a plan for each of your days.
Blessings,
Linda
If you don't already have the book It's Not About Me by Max Lucado run out during the after Christmas sales and pick up a copy it will really bless you.

Ramblings

Kids really do say the cutest things!!! As I dropped Cameron off at his classroom today he quite loudly told his teachers that he brought a show and share item that was breakable and fragable. He keeps us all in stitches. He has even told us he had a girlfriend but she broke up with him and she did not tell him. He is 4! Me thinks he has been listening to one very moody teenager that happens to dwell amongst us. (hehe)


If your kids don't humble you when they are little never fret they are just waiting til they are a teen. I love my teen but the hardest part about raising him is the actual realization that I don't get a say in a lot of his day to day choices anymore you know like when they were little, using the red cup instead of the green one or wearing cowboy boots with shorts silly things like that or even the neat things like the innocence that comes with his belief in Christ. Just believing because he does and does not have the cares of the world weighing him down. Now there is so much weight on teens the hormones and the world around them that is doing it's very best to take Christ out of everything. The outer influences are so strong. It is a major reminder and wake up call that I really never had control God just let me believe I did for a while then he welcomed me to reality with the teen years. I know I have said it before but I so need to remind myself over and over that when anyone deserves to be loved the very least is when they need it the very most!!!(myself included) I do have to insert that sometimes hugging a teenager can be like hugging a cactus. hehe I borrowed that from a book title I have heard before.

Please, as the Lord leads, remember my mother in prayer, she took a bad fall on a train this past weekend, I also have a dear friend whose son, Clayton, has been admitted into the hospital for a problem with this foot, another friend whose husband will soon need a bone marrow transplant and of course don't forget Adam in Iraq.
I pray that this Christmas season has been a Christ centered one for all of you and if not I pray that you are able to refocus (as I have to do often, almost minute by minute) and make it all about the only one who deserves honor and glory.... Jesus Christ our Lord!
Blessings,

Linda

Long time no post.....and YES I know it is a long one

Well I have decided to quit posting that I am busy because it seems to be all I say. So lets just let it be understood that I AM BUSY and that is the end of it. Each and every one of you could make the same statement and I don't want to come off as complaining so on with my post. haha
Teaching has been fun for me. I have really grown to love these little children whose parents have entrusted me to be a part of their education experience. The little girls are sooo girly. I love it!!! They are sooo sweet to me and feel bad that I only have boys. Several of them have invited me to come over to watch girly shows since that does not happen at my home. The little boys are precious and are all boy!!! Everything becomes a gun or sword and is pow pow, of course we are not allowed to let that happen so I have to encourage them to find something else to play. They are loud and fidgety(not a word) I feel very much at home with them because there are not many calm, quiet moments around here with 3 boys and two dogs.
I feel blessed to have been given this experience. I know my dh would probably argue that because he has to hear the other side of me working part time and that is that I am not able to get anything else done around here. I used to be a perfectionist about my home then I had 3 kids and I settled for picked up and maybe really clean a few times a week now I feel like I am just blessed to get every one where they need to be on each day with everything that they need to have. I know this is just a season and I pray that the investments that I am making in my children's and my student's lives will be substaintial. I mean really do my boys care that my house is "eat off the floor" clean or would they settle for picked up and me playing with them?? My house is stuff and while I do believe we should teach our kids to take care of the things we have been blessed to have I don't want them to ever feel that our "stuff" is more important then they are. I have not always had this mentality but I am thankful I finally got it. My younger two will benefit from this but my oldest will probably need therapy. haha
We are off tomorrow for the soccer state championship. Chandler's team has won this 3 times in a row and not to sound greedy but I would love to see the team win it for the 4th time. We have one of our biggest defenders sick right now and if he even gets to play he will be weak. We also have a player that got a red card last game so he has to sit out our first game. Not great circumstances to play under but all teams go through these types of situations so we will just have to see how it plays out. My dh and I love to watch this team play. We have been so blessed by our coach and all of the parents. This team is truly a TEAM. No superstars, everyone is needed and they all know that. It has been fun to see my son and the rest of the team really have each other's back on the field and to see the relationships they have formed off the field is exciting as well. I have been told that teams are not always so special. Meaning that the players may be good but the coach is degrading to them or the parents cannot get along. I don't know what goes on anywhere else but I do know we have a wonderful coach, great players and great parents and my dh and I feel very blessed that the Lord put our son with this team and it's is a long story but it truly was the Lord that placed him here.
I will let you know how it all pans out but would love to have you pray that our team plays their best and that no one on any of the teams this weekend gets hurt. I also am praying that if it is in God's will that we will win and if it not that the boys will be gracious in losing.
Tonight we get to pack for the weekend and then move furniture out of 3 rooms since the carpet and hardwood are being laid Monday. Any creative ideas on keeping the kids and dogs off the floor for 24 hours???? Short of moving out for the night I am not sure how I will be doing that but I know it is doable(sp)
Hope a great weekend is in store for all of you.
Blessings
Linda

Hello WW, it's me again.

Okay, so today I rejoined WW for like the umpteenth time. My husband and I went right after church. He weighed and joined and I did the same and stayed for the meeting. I really like my Thurs. leader but I just can't seem to make it on Thurs. with work and all. This leader was someone I had not seen or heard before. I enjoyed the meeting. She was talking about the negative mindset we all seem to have concerning diets and that the WW way is to change that mindset to a way of life not a diet. One of the ladies in the class said our mindset might be that a diet is deprivation but the WW side says that our choices are limitless. I began to really ponder on that word deprivation and it occurred to me that a diet really is deprivation. Not necessarily deprivation of food but deprivation of the comfort and emotional security that food often times brings to those of us who struggle in this area. I believe it would be the same for a shop aholic. Once this person decides to change his/her lifestyle by cutting out shopping in excess they too may struggle with the "high" if you will that shopping brings them. All of us have a void in our lives that only the Father can fill. I know I am so guilty of trying to fill it with food. An example of this was a recent trip to the grocery with all three kids, I believe they fought the entire time. I had to correct them on numerous occasions. I bought a candy bar and once I got to the car I ripped it open and ate it as fast as I possibly could. It brought comfort for a few minutes then guilt. I pray that this time around on WW I will identify the hunger that comes from emotions and that when I do I will take it straight to the Father. If I find comfort in other things or if I just keep busy so that I won't eat then I am only masking the problem and or filling the void with something else. I am going to do my best to lay this idol (and thorn in my flesh)down once and for all at the Father's feet. I have to quit thinking I can do things apart from him.
Have a great week and remember to put the Father first.
Blessings

Little people funnies

This is the sort of stuff we hear
around our home on a daily basis....
Cameron (3yrs)" Hey lets play good guy bad guy. I'll be Jesus, you be the guy who nailed me to the cross."
Carson (5yrs) " No you be the dog and I'll be the dog catcher.
Cameron Oh, okay.
They keep us on our toes, keep our faces smiling, and our hearts full.

Blessings

Roses are special

I mentioned in the last post about my three miscarriages. I just wanted to share something really sweet that my dh did for me.

About 2 years after my 3rd miscarriage I happened upon an article in Today's Christian Women. It was entitled Secondary Infertility. I was surprised at how many people had one child yet had so many problems conceiving afterward. You really feel guilty to share it especially since you have a child because you don't want to appear ungrateful to others so you just tend not to mention your longing for another child and the problems you are having. The author went on to say that she had 4 children and recently lost a baby and how devistating it was to her and her family so they bought a baby rose bush and planted it in memory of the baby. She said that the bush grew beautifully but the roses would bloom on the other side of her fence. I thought what a wonderful picture of my children blooming in heaven. She added that when she had a friend lose a baby she would carry them dinner and a rose bush. I thought it was a very sweet article and told my husband about it. I believe this was one day in January.

Fastforward to Mother's Day and my husband and sweet son came home with a minature rose bush. I cried so much. It really was one of the best Mother's Day gifts ever for me. Mainly because my husband had listened to me and must have actually heard me:) And of course because it represented our babies. We planted the rose bush and I must say I did not have much of a green thumb at the time so I prayed very hard that no matter what I did the the Lord would allow that rose bush to survive. Each year it would bloom and I would cut 3 roses off and put them in a vase just as a sweet reminder of my children in heaven. The Lord surprised us ( I say surprised because we had pretty much given up) 9 years after my first was born with another boy and when my 2nd was 9 months old another surprise gift was in the works a third boy. After our second was born in May of 2002 I noticed the rose bush looked a little yucky but it still produced so I did not worry about it. When our third child was born in September 2003 the bush looked like it was on it's last leg. Very soon after we lost the bush. We have three babies in heaven and now three on earth I really thought it was special that while my heart yearned for others the Lord allowed the bush to survive yet once my heart was full the bush died.

Again I must give the disclaimer that this is what the Lord did for me. Not because I am more spritiually mature than anyone else this was just part of His plan for my life. Each life is special and different and the plan that the Father has for them is good and perfect. Again before I hit the publish button I will pray for those struggle with infertility or the loss of a child. I pray that the Lord will put a song in your heart and that you will be able to have joy in the midst of a difficult time.

On a lighter note :) I will be having a give away to celebrate my 50th post coming up soon. So check back.

Blessings

Engraved in His Palms???

I thought I would let you know how I came up with the title of my blog just in case any one was interested :)

I was involved in a bible study years ago and one of the verses that stuck out at me was this one. Isaiah 49:16, See I have engraved you on the palms of my hands... The teacher read this to us and told us that once we accept Jesus as our Savior our name is written in the Palms of Christ's hand right next to the nail scars and nothing could erase that. I liked the verse and even memorized it. I was in our church bookstore one day a few years later and I found a framed scripture that had this verse on it. I bought it and have it displayed in our home. As great as I thought this verse was it was not necessarily one that I pondered on all the time I just really liked the imagery of the it. I was grocery shopping one evening in December (1996) when the Salvation Army guy was outside ringing the bell and asking for donations as I left some money in the bucket he handed me a card I thanked him and put it in my sweater pocket.

Fastforward toFebruary(1997) I had just found out I was pregnant and then began to bleed. I was so upset. I went for a walk and just prayed and cried out to God I had already lost one baby , I did have a 3 year old, but had longed for another one and I just could not understand whyI was suffering through this type of loss again. As I was praying I noticed it got colder and I stuck my hands in my pocket. I felt something and pulled it out to see what it was It was the card that the Salvation Army guy gave me that night at the grocery store back in December. It had perferated edges so I tore them to see what it was and a peace came over me as I read the following verse , See I have engraved you in the palms of my hands. I began to cry as I was remined that He really did love me and cared enough to show up that cold February evening to comfort me. Since then I have claimed this verse and love to share it with others. It amazes me how I can read a verse one day and almost not even notice it and then read it again during a different set of circumstances and wow it just jumps off the page. I guess this is why you don't just read the Bible through one time and say "I'm done", it really speaks to us where we are.



I will never fully understand why God allows somethings to happen in our lives but I know He loves us and everything I have gone through has shaped me into the person I am today. I have so many stories relating to my losses. ( we lost another one for a total of 3) In fact there is one in particular I may share in the future as it is extremely sweet. After I publish this post I am going to pray for all of you who have lost a baby,and those who are struggling with infertility. Seek Him. He may not answer the way you desire but he does have a good and perfect will for all of us.

Blessings

Happy Birthday Steven/ Thought for the day

Want to wish many birthday blessings to my bil, Steven. He is married to my sister, Sandy, the creative one. He is a great dad and wonderful husband. He and my sister are a great team. We hope you have a great day!

I was folding laundry yesterday and happened to catch Beth Moore on TV. Something she said really caught my attention.

"All excess is rooted in emptiness" She went on to say that what ever we are doing in excess if it is not tended to with God it will become a stronghold. She filled in the excess blank with, eating, shopping, working, surfing the net, the blank could be filled with anything that anyone of us are dealing with. I dropped the towels and began to take notes. It was a timely word for me.

Blessings

I won, I won!!

My title sounds a bit over the top but I have to admit it has been a very sweet blog week for me. First Kim, honored me with the Nice Matters award. It is very special to me to be thought of this way. So Kim, Thank you so much and for the kind words you spoke about me they were very humbling. Then yesterday as I was blog lurking I went to Christina's and found that she had been creative with several names that she knows through blogging and to my surprise she had done my name in a cup of coffee and had a few very sweet words about me and my blog and to top that off she let us know that she was praying specifically for each of us that day. That brought tears to my eyes. This morning I wake up and check my blog and found a comment from Christy telling me I won her give away for her blogiversary. I don't know what I won but who cares it is so exciting!!! I could go on and say I've never won anything but I would be lying because I have won the most exciting gift ever and all I had to do was ask for it and it was given to me. I asked the Lord Jesus to be my Lord and Savior in June 1988. I'd like to say I have been the perfect christian since that day but if any of us could say that then why would we need a Savior? I hate that my flesh is so drawn to sin but boy am I grateful that our Father forgives and grants Mercy when I so don't deserve it. I may not always act like it but I am soooo excited to know that one day I will step into eternity and come face to face with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. My finite mind thinks at times I will sit with Him and ask him to fill me in on what He was thinking when certain events unfolded in my life but I have a very strong feeling that I will be in such Awe that I will just bow before Him and worship. So as fun as winning is if I never win another thing or if I am never honored again here on earth, I will always be a winner because of Christ.

Blessings

School and a new opportunity

Well today is the last official day before school starts. I love having my kids home. I am going to really miss them. Carson is starting K-5 and will only be gone 1/2 day so it won't be too bad, but the oldest starting high school and between being gone all day doing homework and sports practices at night it can become difficult to connect oh and of course the fact that he is a teenager plays a huge part in the connecting department. Anyway I will miss them terribly.
Next year I plan to homeschool my little ones though so I am interested to see the differences within our family of having one in school and the other two at home I really wanted them to do K-5 at a school so that they could get an idea of just what structure is involved in school and that there will be a time for play but also a devoted time for learning.

The Lord has given me an opportunity this year that I could not pass up. I was asked to teach the 4-k class in the preschool program that my little ones attend. The kindergarten is there also and it will only be 3 hours a day and my children will be right there with me in the same location( which we could walk to from home) so I accepted and am looking forward to it. I am a little nervous though as the preschool begins in 2 1/2 weeks and I just found out 2 days ago and I have tons to do to prepare. I really believe the Lord will use this to jump start me into homeschooling next year. The people I will be working with are incredible and I am excited to see what the Lord will teach me this year through these new relationships with my collegues, students and parents. I am praying that as I embark on this new adventure He will give me strength and motivation to keep my home running smoothly so as not to take away from my husband and kids.
I want to leave you another nugget that my pastor would use in the pulpit.

"Never doubt in the dark what God has shown you in the light."
Blessings

Happy Birthday Aunt Diane/ Left or Right???

First I want to wish my sil a happy birthday. She lives in Georgia so we don't see her as often as we'd like. She is the one that let us use her condo in Hilton Head. We love you and hope you have a great day. :)

My sweet Cameron, my third child, is just so much fun. He is a little bit of a glass half empty mentality especially mornings but other than that he really brings us so much joy and comic relief. He is 3 and CAN do everything by himself. He insists on putting on his shoes which I think is wonderful, only problem is they are always on the wrong feet. He comes out of his room and says,"right feet, wrong feet?" to which I hate to do it but I tell him, "wrong feet." His response is always the same. He clinches his little fists and through his teeth he questions, "Yug why do I ALWAYS do that?" Well I have not been able honestly answer him because I honestly don't know. I have noticed the last 2 times he has put them on he asked his question and I have been able to tell him right feet. His face just lights up but it also has this look on it like, haha shoes I guess I showed you!!

Ever since the first time I heard him get frustrated and ask why he always does it I have thought of the verse in the Bible from Romans 7:15, I don't understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead I do the very thing I hate. (new living translation) I thought how hard it is for Cameron to keep being told day after day that what he set out to accomplish was not right. He would be frustrated but persistant enough to keep trying til he got it right. I never got frustrated because I knew one day he would get it. I wonder if that is how it is with the Father and I. I keep trying to do things in my own power and he gently tells me no that is not right, I get frustrated and talk through my teeth and persist to get it right. It is certainly a war within the soul to know what is right but to continue to choose wrong. Maybe it is yelling at the kids, talking ugly to my husband, gossiping, not being obedient to a command the Lord has give me or even spending more time on the blog then I do with Him. Whatever it is I am dealing with I know there will be victories and defeat and I will continue along striving to be holy and Christ Like. I am so glad I serve a God who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. With all the hormonal stuff I go through I don't know who I am going to be in the morning. :) and it is nice to know that He is the same, He loves me and there is nothing I can do to separate me from Him, while I may break fellowship with Him I can never break the relationship, He is my Abba.

Blessings