Frazzled Mom/50th post give away

No I have not fallen off the face of the earth but I have fallen off the land of blogville and have missed it terribly. I think I have been online maybe 2 hours in the past week and most of that was trying to find great pictures for my classroom's job chart. I posted a while back about the opportunity I was given to teach one of the two 4-K classes at my children's preschool. Although I have a degree, having babies and staying home with them has been my classroom. I have not actually had my own classroom. I started with the other teachers this past Monday to get our rooms prepared. They had so much stuff at the school to decorate the room with but of course since it is my first classroom I wanted to put my own touches in the room so I have gone OVERBOARD in getting the room ready. I have to say I am not all about the traditional primary colors either. Now of course the kids need to know them and learn them but I do like a lot of other colors as well so some of my decor might be called a little rebelish(a word I think I just made up) We have some pillows in the reading center that have seen much better days so I am going to pick up some animal print material and my sweet MIL is going to make some new pillows for me, I think the kids will love them. Ladies after this week of lesson planning and room preparing I have to tell you I really had no idea how much work these teachers put into their rooms and lesssons. I also thought (especially at preschool age) that when you went home that was it. Well you have to earn a certain number of training hours outside of class time. There are staff meetings, cpr training, open houses, programs, all taking time outside of the classroom. If you have a kiddo in preschool or any grade for that matter, thank them, I mean really let them know how much you appreciate the work they do. The preschool is in a church and the church does not want the classrooms to look like school rooms on Sunday mornings so we have to remove some items and we are limited to the wall space we can use. At first I was disappointed that I could not do more but after this week I'm thinking that is the best rule I have ever heard. I am tired and the kids have not even come yet. They come tomorrow and though I am tired I am equally as excited to meet all their sweet little faces. I have prayed for each of them as I have cut out their name tags. Today as I sat in the room I prayed over the room, for the children, and all the parents of the children. I want to be a blessing and not a burden to each family. I will have to let you know how it goes. They are coming in groups over the next two days. The first official week starts next week.

Now I mentioned in my last post that I would be having a give away in honor of my 50th post. Well this is it. Number 50!!! I am so excited that my sister got me started blogging because I have loved it. I guess it can be tempting at times to make your life seem more exciting than it is but I have not come across too many blogs that are that way. I have read a lot of stories about struggles, marriages, parenting and there is a lot of pain and raw exposure. Knowing that other people are going through valleys and reading about how they get through them is so encouraging to me. I don't mean to say I am ever encouraged by some one else's pain I am encouraged that I am not the only one. I also am encouraged by those who share their love for going to yard sales and thrift stores and turning a once drab find into something beautiful all at a very low cost( no pretending there). As I blog and share pictures and glimpses of my life I have become very reflective and thankful for the blessings that the Lord has given me. So I want to thank all of you bloggy friends for keeping " it "real.

I do not have my digital camera so I will not be able to show a picture of the gift until Fri. or Sat. but I will begin today and anyone who leaves a comment beginning today with this post will be included in the drawing.

Blessings

Roses are special

I mentioned in the last post about my three miscarriages. I just wanted to share something really sweet that my dh did for me.

About 2 years after my 3rd miscarriage I happened upon an article in Today's Christian Women. It was entitled Secondary Infertility. I was surprised at how many people had one child yet had so many problems conceiving afterward. You really feel guilty to share it especially since you have a child because you don't want to appear ungrateful to others so you just tend not to mention your longing for another child and the problems you are having. The author went on to say that she had 4 children and recently lost a baby and how devistating it was to her and her family so they bought a baby rose bush and planted it in memory of the baby. She said that the bush grew beautifully but the roses would bloom on the other side of her fence. I thought what a wonderful picture of my children blooming in heaven. She added that when she had a friend lose a baby she would carry them dinner and a rose bush. I thought it was a very sweet article and told my husband about it. I believe this was one day in January.

Fastforward to Mother's Day and my husband and sweet son came home with a minature rose bush. I cried so much. It really was one of the best Mother's Day gifts ever for me. Mainly because my husband had listened to me and must have actually heard me:) And of course because it represented our babies. We planted the rose bush and I must say I did not have much of a green thumb at the time so I prayed very hard that no matter what I did the the Lord would allow that rose bush to survive. Each year it would bloom and I would cut 3 roses off and put them in a vase just as a sweet reminder of my children in heaven. The Lord surprised us ( I say surprised because we had pretty much given up) 9 years after my first was born with another boy and when my 2nd was 9 months old another surprise gift was in the works a third boy. After our second was born in May of 2002 I noticed the rose bush looked a little yucky but it still produced so I did not worry about it. When our third child was born in September 2003 the bush looked like it was on it's last leg. Very soon after we lost the bush. We have three babies in heaven and now three on earth I really thought it was special that while my heart yearned for others the Lord allowed the bush to survive yet once my heart was full the bush died.

Again I must give the disclaimer that this is what the Lord did for me. Not because I am more spritiually mature than anyone else this was just part of His plan for my life. Each life is special and different and the plan that the Father has for them is good and perfect. Again before I hit the publish button I will pray for those struggle with infertility or the loss of a child. I pray that the Lord will put a song in your heart and that you will be able to have joy in the midst of a difficult time.

On a lighter note :) I will be having a give away to celebrate my 50th post coming up soon. So check back.

Blessings

Engraved in His Palms???

I thought I would let you know how I came up with the title of my blog just in case any one was interested :)

I was involved in a bible study years ago and one of the verses that stuck out at me was this one. Isaiah 49:16, See I have engraved you on the palms of my hands... The teacher read this to us and told us that once we accept Jesus as our Savior our name is written in the Palms of Christ's hand right next to the nail scars and nothing could erase that. I liked the verse and even memorized it. I was in our church bookstore one day a few years later and I found a framed scripture that had this verse on it. I bought it and have it displayed in our home. As great as I thought this verse was it was not necessarily one that I pondered on all the time I just really liked the imagery of the it. I was grocery shopping one evening in December (1996) when the Salvation Army guy was outside ringing the bell and asking for donations as I left some money in the bucket he handed me a card I thanked him and put it in my sweater pocket.

Fastforward toFebruary(1997) I had just found out I was pregnant and then began to bleed. I was so upset. I went for a walk and just prayed and cried out to God I had already lost one baby , I did have a 3 year old, but had longed for another one and I just could not understand whyI was suffering through this type of loss again. As I was praying I noticed it got colder and I stuck my hands in my pocket. I felt something and pulled it out to see what it was It was the card that the Salvation Army guy gave me that night at the grocery store back in December. It had perferated edges so I tore them to see what it was and a peace came over me as I read the following verse , See I have engraved you in the palms of my hands. I began to cry as I was remined that He really did love me and cared enough to show up that cold February evening to comfort me. Since then I have claimed this verse and love to share it with others. It amazes me how I can read a verse one day and almost not even notice it and then read it again during a different set of circumstances and wow it just jumps off the page. I guess this is why you don't just read the Bible through one time and say "I'm done", it really speaks to us where we are.



I will never fully understand why God allows somethings to happen in our lives but I know He loves us and everything I have gone through has shaped me into the person I am today. I have so many stories relating to my losses. ( we lost another one for a total of 3) In fact there is one in particular I may share in the future as it is extremely sweet. After I publish this post I am going to pray for all of you who have lost a baby,and those who are struggling with infertility. Seek Him. He may not answer the way you desire but he does have a good and perfect will for all of us.

Blessings

Happy Birthday Steven/ Thought for the day

Want to wish many birthday blessings to my bil, Steven. He is married to my sister, Sandy, the creative one. He is a great dad and wonderful husband. He and my sister are a great team. We hope you have a great day!

I was folding laundry yesterday and happened to catch Beth Moore on TV. Something she said really caught my attention.

"All excess is rooted in emptiness" She went on to say that what ever we are doing in excess if it is not tended to with God it will become a stronghold. She filled in the excess blank with, eating, shopping, working, surfing the net, the blank could be filled with anything that anyone of us are dealing with. I dropped the towels and began to take notes. It was a timely word for me.

Blessings

I won, I won!!

My title sounds a bit over the top but I have to admit it has been a very sweet blog week for me. First Kim, honored me with the Nice Matters award. It is very special to me to be thought of this way. So Kim, Thank you so much and for the kind words you spoke about me they were very humbling. Then yesterday as I was blog lurking I went to Christina's and found that she had been creative with several names that she knows through blogging and to my surprise she had done my name in a cup of coffee and had a few very sweet words about me and my blog and to top that off she let us know that she was praying specifically for each of us that day. That brought tears to my eyes. This morning I wake up and check my blog and found a comment from Christy telling me I won her give away for her blogiversary. I don't know what I won but who cares it is so exciting!!! I could go on and say I've never won anything but I would be lying because I have won the most exciting gift ever and all I had to do was ask for it and it was given to me. I asked the Lord Jesus to be my Lord and Savior in June 1988. I'd like to say I have been the perfect christian since that day but if any of us could say that then why would we need a Savior? I hate that my flesh is so drawn to sin but boy am I grateful that our Father forgives and grants Mercy when I so don't deserve it. I may not always act like it but I am soooo excited to know that one day I will step into eternity and come face to face with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. My finite mind thinks at times I will sit with Him and ask him to fill me in on what He was thinking when certain events unfolded in my life but I have a very strong feeling that I will be in such Awe that I will just bow before Him and worship. So as fun as winning is if I never win another thing or if I am never honored again here on earth, I will always be a winner because of Christ.

Blessings

First day of school, First day of school

I can just hear Nemo repeating that statement to his dad as they are swimming to the local school. Today my oldest, Chandler began high school. He has gone to the same school since K-5 so he already knows most of the students so he wasn't nervous about meeting new people. He was actually nervous that he would not know exactly where his classes were and that an upper classman would tell him the wrong way if he felt he had to ask. I remember when I started high school the upper classman would tell us that our rooms were located on the 4th floor, unbeknownest to us there were only 3 floors. We soon figured it out and all was well for that year at least. :) He started his day with about 10 min. of quite time reading from Ephesians. Something that I am trying to do not just for myself but for my children. There relationship with the Lord will determine so much in their lives the first and most obvious one is where they will spend eternity but also how their attitudes are whether or not they will have peace in the midst of their storms, how they react to things that happen to them even the good things, will they become prideful? or will they lift it up as thanksgiving to the Lord for what He has enabled them to do? I can't expect my children to just grow up and choose to have a quiet time if it has never been modeled for them. This is something I so desire for them. I know they have a free will and may even choose to turn away from the Lord but I have to know that we taught them every tool they will need to grow in the Lord.
My middle son, Carson began his first official day of K-5. He was so excited to go. We took pictures and all that good stuff (digital is broken that is why I don't have any pics right now). I even had quiet time with him and my youngest, Cameron. We read from a children's devotional and talked about the Lord being the creator of Life. When I picked him up he was still excited about going tomorrow even though he had to move his stick from green to yellow and did not get a sticker. :( Of course I am thinking GREAT, Just GREAT, the first day of school he talked too much and now I am going to teach at his school and of course I had to go there..... I had to think that the K-5 teachers are second guessing the school's decision to hire me I mean come on her kid had to move to yellow on the first day!!!! It did not help that my youngest was jumping all over the place and pulling things off the wall.:)
Yes it was a peaceful, classical musical morning around here NOT!!! Oh by the way, did I mention that my lovely dog Dallas ate a whole bar of soap while we were desperately trying not be late (but we were, another reason not to hire me) for the first day of school.
I have a favorite saying.... Worse things could happen and they absolutely could so I am smiling as I post this and praying that tomorrow will be a little less eventful, but if not, I'm sure the Lord will enable me to endure. :)
Blessings

Oh, my sister Sandy, is having a give away in honour of her 200th post, go take a peek and leave a comment.

And happy birthday wishes to our Sunday school teacher, John, and good friend, Mark.

School and a new opportunity

Well today is the last official day before school starts. I love having my kids home. I am going to really miss them. Carson is starting K-5 and will only be gone 1/2 day so it won't be too bad, but the oldest starting high school and between being gone all day doing homework and sports practices at night it can become difficult to connect oh and of course the fact that he is a teenager plays a huge part in the connecting department. Anyway I will miss them terribly.
Next year I plan to homeschool my little ones though so I am interested to see the differences within our family of having one in school and the other two at home I really wanted them to do K-5 at a school so that they could get an idea of just what structure is involved in school and that there will be a time for play but also a devoted time for learning.

The Lord has given me an opportunity this year that I could not pass up. I was asked to teach the 4-k class in the preschool program that my little ones attend. The kindergarten is there also and it will only be 3 hours a day and my children will be right there with me in the same location( which we could walk to from home) so I accepted and am looking forward to it. I am a little nervous though as the preschool begins in 2 1/2 weeks and I just found out 2 days ago and I have tons to do to prepare. I really believe the Lord will use this to jump start me into homeschooling next year. The people I will be working with are incredible and I am excited to see what the Lord will teach me this year through these new relationships with my collegues, students and parents. I am praying that as I embark on this new adventure He will give me strength and motivation to keep my home running smoothly so as not to take away from my husband and kids.
I want to leave you another nugget that my pastor would use in the pulpit.

"Never doubt in the dark what God has shown you in the light."
Blessings